North Metro First Baptist Church
Friday, September 10, 2010
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The Pastor's BlogTOP 10 LIST OF WAYS TO HONOR AND LOVE YOUR WIFE IN THE DAY-TO-DAY.
July 15, 2010
Men the longer I Pastor, I am amazed at the condition of many marriages. If there should ever be a people who develop the right kind of relationships within marriage it should be the Christian home. Marriage in the scripture is held in high view. The Apostle Paul gives a great word when he addresses the Spirit-filled Life in Ephesians 5. Paul reminds the husband of his responsibility to love his wife in the same way that Christ loves the church. Let me challenge you to think with me about that command for a moment. Christ provides for the church, therefore the husband must provide for his wife. Christ protects the church; therefore the husband is to protect his wife. On and on I could go. Whatever adjective you can come up with to describe Christ love for the church is how the husband who is living under empowerment of the Holy Spirit is to love his bride. Allow me to be very practical with real tangible ways that a husband can demonstrate love for his wife in the day to day! I read this list somewhere and believe these are 10 great ways to love on your wife. 10. Give small gifts even when it's not her birthday. When you go to the store, pick up a rose. If she likes crafts, pick up some thread. It doesn't need to be big, but it says she was in your thoughts while you were apart. 9. When she's troubled by something, even if you think it's nothing, remember that it is real to her and be supportive. 8. When she has a problem, realize that she may not be asking you to solve the problem but just to listen and let her know she's not facing it alone. 7. Let pleasing her be enough to please you. Do things pleasing to her because you love her and not just so she'll return the favor. 6. Let the things that matter to her matter to you. If she roots for a particular team, root with her. If she does cross-stitch, pick out designs that you'd like to see, and maybe even ask her to teach you how. 5. Encourage her time with other women, who understand what it means to be a woman, and can affirm her femininity in ways that only women can. 4. If you are going out, offer to run errands for her while you are out. If she is going out, ask if there are things you can do around the house while she is gone. 3. If she is trying to improve herself, take note and encourage her, but make sure you don't suggest that you'll love her more after she improves herself. 2. Acknowledge that affection is a real need in her life. This may be as simple as holding hands as you walk around the park together. Our wives need to know that there are times when we are holding them because we love them and not because we are looking forward to our own pleasure. 1. Pray for her and ask her how you can help her grow in her individual relationship with God, including areas that don't directly benefit you. Men, your wife is God’s greatest gift to you next to Jesus Christ. It is God’s Will for you to love on and cherish this special gift. You may be surprise of her response to her husband who loves her as Christ loves the church. Frank
BE WARNED: KILLING A WOLF OR DESTROYING A SAINT!
June 28, 2010The other day I was thinking about the Christian life. As a Pastor, I have seen so many walk an aisle to make a decision for Christ only to realize as time passes you no longer see them walking with Jesus much less serving Him. What happened to them? I am sure there are many reasons why someone falls by the wayside. We heard all the plausible excuses given by the one who has fallen. It is always, so it seems, something the church or the Pastor or their Bible Study class didn’t do. But what is the real reason? Let me ask you a question. Have you ever thought about how an Eskimo kills his predator, the Wolf? I would assume that most of us do not lay awake at night and ponder such. Maybe we should because it correlates with our spiritual walk with Christ. Could it not be that somewhere along the journey of life they (the Christ Follower) forgot to remember they have a real adversary the scripture calls ‘the Devil” who is really out to destroy their walk and fellowship with Christ? If they are saved, then Satan knows he cannot change their position as a child of God. So he sets out to destroy their usefulness for Christ. The way he sets out to accomplish such is to break their fellowship with their Savior. If he can break their fellowship with Christ then he has them proceeding down a slippery slope. So he attempts to lure them back into the world by dishing out temptation that appeals to the flesh in order to destroy their usefulness. The result is alarming. They just disappear from Church, Bible Study and the fellowship with other believers, which we are warned we should not do. (Hebrews 10:25) How does Satan accomplish such? Maybe we can learn from the way the Eskimos kill a Wolf. Satan’s schemes seem to work in the same way. Eskimos have a peculiar way of killing wolves for food. First they sharpen the blade on their spear or knife until it could slice a thin sheet of paper. Then they coat the blade of the spear or knife with blood of a walrus or some other animal and dip it in water to create a coat of ice over it. They do this several times until all you could see is the blood and not the deadly blade that waits. Then they insert the handle of the spear into a block of ice or snow with its blade standing out. The wolves are attracted by the scent of the blood on the spear or knife and they start licking the blade. At first the warmth of their breath and tongue begins to thaw out the frozen blood. The ice on the blade freezes and numbs their tongue so that they have no feeling even when the sharp blade makes their own tongues to bleed. They continue to lick the blade more vigorously because of the taste of their own blood! Eventually they lose so much blood until they fall unconscious or die. In the same way, man is driven into the temptations and addictions in this world. He yields to them and starts experiencing pleasure beyond his imagination till the very temptations numbs his sensibilities and his abilities to comprehend right and wrong and ultimately gets destroyed by them. Satan walks away laughing that he hindered their usefulness for Jesus if not destroyed their lives. Just food for thought.... Frank
GUEST BLOG
June 3, 2010
I wished I had written this blog. There is so much wisdom in it for anyone who will take the time to apprise themselves of the years of experience of the statesman who penned the words. Dr. Jerry Vines is a tremendous leader. He is Pastor Emeritus of First Baptist Church of Jacksonville Florida and now lives in Georgia. He has been elected twice by Southern Baptist to serve as her President. From his vast experience as Pastor and Convention leader he gives caution to his beloved Southern Baptist as we head toward one of the most crucial conventions in years. However, the wisdom found here is applicable for life in general. Great word from Dr. Vines – enjoy.
Frank Blessed Are The Balanced By Dr. Jerry Vines My friend Warren Wiersbe said to me several years ago: “Blessed are the balanced.” I’ve thought about that statement quite a bit. There is a tendency for us all to get out of balance. And the younger we are, the more we tend to extremes. I know that was true for me. At times my passion outran my understanding. I was sincere, but hadn’t lived long enough to have a more complete picture. I don’t claim to have the complete picture now. But, I have come to believe that balance is important. Blessed are the balanced in preaching. You can get so caught up in one theme of Scripture that you exclude other themes. I heard about a preacher who got hung up on the account of the woman at the well. He was speaking on Numbers 22:21, “Balaam…saddled his donkey.” He said, “First, I want to speak about the usefulness of donkeys. Second, I want to speak about the details of ancient saddles. Then I will close with a few words about the woman at the well.” Preaching through Bible books helps the preacher to stay balanced in his preaching. Blessed are the balanced in preaching. Blessed are the balanced in doctrine. There is a beautiful tension between many Bible doctrines. In Scripture our finite mind encounters the infinite mind of God. We surely understand we can’t have complete comprehension. Take Divine sovereignty and human responsibility, for instance. Both are taught in Scripture. Systematic theologies leaning too far in one direction to the detriment of the other get biblical truth out of balance. Neither extreme Calvinism nor extreme Arminianism represents biblical theology. Blessed are the balanced. Blessed are the balanced in church ministry. The New Testament makes it clear that churches aren’t to focus on either local or global ministry to the exclusion of the other. The New Testament pattern isn’t either/or but both/and. As a lifetime Southern Baptist I think we are in desperate need of some balance these days. I believe strongly in the autonomy of the local church. No central authority over a church dictates to it. No convention can tell a church how to conduct its ministry, to develop its programs, or how to give its money. Each church congregation makes those decisions under the Lordship of Christ and the leading of the Holy Spirit. But, I do believe it is important for churches to cooperate with one another in carrying out our Lord’s command to witness to the whole world, from our local “Jerusalem” to the global “ends of the earth.” Blessed are the balanced. There must be some balance in how we use our funds. Obviously we can’t carry on our local work without using much of our tithes and offerings there. The local church should constantly evaluate the need for and necessity of some of its buildings, staff and programs. We must also be mindful of the opportunity to share with other churches of like faith and order in local, state, national and worldwide causes. If you are going to be part of a convention of churches, you should have some kind of financial commitment to it. If you want to be independent and do everything as a local church, fine and God bless you. But, if you are part of the Southern Baptist Convention, there should be some kind of financial involvement there. If you want to be a part of the leadership, setting the course of the SBC, you should lead in financial commitment. A man in your local church probably won’t get placed on the finance committee if he designates $50,000 a year to the music ministry (maybe led by his son!), but only gives $500 annually to the church’s unified budget. He’s free to give his money that way. But, I doubt you would give him the opportunity to make decisions affecting how the bulk of the church’s money is used. Blessed are the balanced. During the years of the Conservative Resurgence I was criticized for my church’s low percentage of giving to the SBC’s cooperative program. I just took the criticism and didn’t get mad about it. The issue of liberalism was the primary impediment. Many of us said, “We don’t want to support the liberalism.” As we began to resolve that issue, the record will show my church steadily increased its gifts. I feel you have to put your money where your mouth is. Now we hear the criticism, “We don’t want to support the bloated bureaucracy.” Well, I’m sure there is enough bloat in our Convention, entities, and yes, our churches, to go around. Examine? Sure. Eliminate all the bloat we can? Yes! But, blast and blame? No. It just boils down to this: If you intend to be a Southern Baptist, work through the system to bring about the change you desire. It won’t happen over night. The SBC boat is a big one and doesn’t change course quickly. It took ten years for us to utilize our trustee system to address the problem of liberalism. If you aren’t willing to take the time and the SBC doesn’t fit your idea of what a convention of churches should be, then seek another. And God bless you as you go. Blessed are the balanced. GREAT ADVICE
April 29, 2010
Recently I ran across a blog written by Dr. Waylon Bailey. Dr. Bailey serves as the Senior Pastor of First Baptist Church, Covington, Louisiana. I know Dr. Bailey to be a great man of faith and wisdom. My first introduction to Waylon was in the fall of 1978. It was my first day at seminary, 8:00 in the morning, Old Testament Survey, and Dr. Bailey was the professor. The commonality: my first day of seminary, his first day of teaching at New Orleans. Over the three years in seminary, I took most of my Old Testament classes under Dr. Bailey. I discovered him to be a man of great passion for Jesus Christ.
He writes on the subject of how to create a mighty symphony. Read it and enjoy. “It’s always hard to determine priorities. What would be the top five needs in your life? As I rank my priorities, one of my top five is to ‘live in harmony with the people around me.’ In fact, on a day-to-day basis is there anything that affects me or my family more? Paul instructed the church at Colossae to live in such a way that would bless those around them and bless themselves. (Col. 3:12-14) Would your family be blessed if you followed these instructions? 1. Live a daily life characterized by being kind and compassionate toward everyone, gentle and patient. In fact, would following only one of these make a profound difference in the people around you? 2. Learn not to expect perfection in others, but rather to ‘put up’ with imperfection. What father has not scolded a child for spilling milk only to quickly knock over a glass of tea? 3. Forgive, remembering that love and forgiveness are much more involved with what you do than how you feel. 4. Act out a life of love. By themselves patience, forgiveness, kindness, and forbearance are all good, but when these are all put together with a love inspired of God Himself, they are mighty and powerful. Paul used a musical analogy. Kindness may make a nice solo, but all of these virtues wrapped with love make a mighty symphony.” Great words of wisdom from Dr. Waylon Bailey. Enjoy and apply! Frank
HOW TO PASTOR YOUR FAMILY
April 22, 2010
The other day I found myself going through a stack of resumes looking for a high school minister for our church. There are many things that I look for immediately on a resume to see if I have any interest to read further. When I get beyond the name and family information I quickly look at the experience the minister has in the field of youth ministry. There was one that caught my eye that was a little unusual. Whether I was interested in him or not, it still invited me to read on.
His only experience in ministry was two-fold: 1- He pastored his wife! 2- He pastored his children There was no church experience but he was right on target to understand his role as husband and father. First and foremost he was to be their pastor. There are times when people will ask me, “How do you fit your family in with all that you do?” They are really asking how do I invest in my family? I really believe it comes down to the question – “How do men pastor their families?” Let me share some great advice on the subject. Here is one attempt to answer those questions. 1. Routine is Important Our family always worked best with a routine. My wife and I and our children pretty much had a weekly schedule. The spiritual was always important to us. We took teachable moments in our routine and taught God’s principles in those moments. In their times of crisis, we were there to ask the most powerful question. “What would Jesus want you to do in this situation?” No matter the crisis it always put “the situation” and “our response to it” in perspective. Routine meant Mary and I controlled the routine and set the pattern for the family. (We did not surrender our role as parents to our children) Such as, Sunday and Wednesday were times set aside in our family to be in church and around the people of God. It was the pattern of our family. It would have to be an emergency of major proportion to deviate from it. In other words, we as the parents set the routine, not the children. 2. Be as Intentional in the Evenings as you are during the day! I get home from work between 5:45PM and 6:00PM most nights. To be honest I had to prepare myself before 5:45PM so that I could hit the ground running when I walked in the door. (Still do even though our children are grown) Though I am invariably tired from my day's work, I have to remind myself that the most important part of my vocation happens after 5:45PM, not before. This was especially true when the kids were at home. Fathers are tempted to check out on the ride home to be of no good when they arrive. You must consciously prepare yourself to give more energy, more attention, and more dedicated focus as soon as you walk through the door and are greeted by your family who deserve your best. This takes prayer, practice, and intentionality. It's easy to fail. Husbands/dads, be ready to be present and engaged: Don't let your kids or wife expect to hear your excuse: "I'm tired!” Men, your wife needs your attention. By the way, this is true if she has been wrestling with YOUR kids all day. Please turn your phone off. (I recently read something like this: "If you touched your wife as much as you touch your iPhone, your marriage would be in a much better spot.") Do whatever it takes to let them know you care about their day as well. Wives, be gracious; be forgiving; learn and grow with your husband: Make your home inviting and pleasing. Manage the stress level (for you and the kids) before dad gets home (i.e. don't let the water boil all day so that it's boiling over the top right when dad walks through the door). 3. Don’t pass up Play Time With the Kids! We always tried to eat as soon as I arrived at home. The first moments at home when our children were small were great. All three were glad to see me and wanted some special attention. I immediately gave it to them. Dads, think about it. You are the most important person in your children’s eyes. Your kids are ready to see you. Ready to punch you. Ready to kiss you. Ready to play. Ready to build. Ready to read. And of course your wife needs this from you too if she's making dinner or just needing a break after her long day. Husbands, remind yourself daily that your wife is likely as tired as you are when you arrive home. Be willing to serve her as well. Make a game of setting the table or cleaning their rooms or picking up the family room to assist your precious wife. It can be a game you play with the kids but at the same time you are teaching, training and coaching your children on how to honor their mom. 4. Mealtime is more than eating food! We had a rule that we all ate together. Oh yeah, it was around the table 99% of the time. We would use mealtime for more than the consumption of food. It was a time where Mary and I could stay in touch with what was going on in Stephen, Jonathan and Kristen’s lives. We celebrated their victories, laughed at their jokes and caught up with all they were learning in school. (Today this is so important whether they are in public, private or even Christian schools). We would always begin this time in prayer inviting God to be apart of what we were about at the table in the form of a blessing. This was one of the ways we taught our children how to pray as they took turns asking the blessing. Mealtime was the place where Mary and I would gather all our information about others who were speaking into our children’s lives. Don’t take this time for granted; instead use it to build communication within the family. 5. Cleanup is clearing the way! After dinner we all had responsibility to clear the table, rinse our own dish and place it in the dishwasher. It taught them responsibility as well as cleared the way for us to have a relaxing evening together as a family. The rest of the evening was devoted to our children until their bedtime, which was consistent each night. 6. Bible Time should be natural, not hard or strained! When the children were small we would have times where we would read Bible stories out of a children’s Bible storybook before bedtime. At other times we would allow them to come up with family worship ideas. Sometimes this was in the form of reading a story from the Bible or at times playing a Bible game that Jonathan thought up on his own. Fathers, allow me to speak into your heart. You are the man! You are the key to getting the Word of God into their lives. Church must play an important role in their lives. So much is provided at North Metro for your children, but they will not benefit from it if church is not a part of your life. You are the spiritual leader – so lead in the spiritual things of God! You will lead one way or the other. Dads, it's important for you to be the spiritual leader. Talk to them about God. In every decision you make be sure God is included. If you include God now as you are raising your children, they will do it when they are grown. Remember, the kids are watching. 7. Questions & Answers As your children are growing remember they will have inquisitive minds. Allow them to ask you questions about anything. It is called communication. Don’t be afraid of being stumped by their questions. Let me give you assurance that you will be at times, especially about spiritual things. Don’t panic. Just tell them you don’t know when you don’t know, but together you will figure it out. Then get into the Bible and seek the answer. Both you and them will learn a lot. (Remember, LifeGroups at the church is a good place to seek the answer with other parents who are being bombarded with questions in their homes as well. Then of course there are staff members who can help you). 8. Family Prayer The greatest thing we do as parents is teach our children how to pray and acknowledge God as their source for everything. Mary and I modeled out praying before our children. We would pray with them at bedtime. Believe me, we prayed for everything from the neighbor’s cat to someone’s grandmother who had died. Even now as they are adults Mary and I will ask them to pray as we are making decisions in our own lives. We remind them we are praying for them as they are making decisions as well. Prayer time should be encouraging, graceful, loving, fun, sometimes silly, patient, and fruitful time. Be honest with one another. Teach your kids how to care, how to be sensitive to others' needs, how to articulate what they're feeling. Use prayer time to make disciples. It is a joy now watching Stephen and Brooke teaching Baileigh how to pray. 9. Bedtime should always be special Now it's bedtime. Love those kids. Hug and kiss and tickle and snuggle like crazy. After they are asleep and before you go to bed, slip back into their room and pray over them. Mary and I have done this many times in our children’s lives especially when they were going through “tough stuff”. 10. Explicit vs. Implicit Most of the above routine is explicit training and devotion. The information I have shared comes from our family’s tradition and what it means to be a part of our home! These explicit elements would only go so far (but not far enough) if not paired with the implicit aspects of the daily spiritual development that are more subtle and mundane. The implicit aspects are the constant opportunities to listen to your kids, talk to them, tell them about Jesus, tell them about something you read in Scripture, something you've wondered about God, connect the dots between dinner and worship, live a life of celebration and sacrifice. The legitimacy of your "devotion time" is only as solid as the legitimacy of your own devotional life. Please know we all fail. I fail often and so will you. I need much grace, don’t you? I have been blessed with a loving, forgiving wife and patient kids. Men, this is the most important work you'll ever do, and it will have more impact than anything you could imagine. May God help us pastor our families well! Frank
TALK SBC INTERVIEW
April 15, 2010
Joel Southerland interviews Frank Cox, pastor of North Metro First Baptist Church in Lawrenceville, Georgia. Listen as Pastor Cox shares his views on the Cooperative Program and Great Commission Resurgence.
SPIRITUAL SUCCESS
April 15, 2010
The other day I was doing some reading while waiting on Mary at a store. It was speaking of the powerless church in a day of decadence. Have you ever wondered why we can have so many who claim to be Christians and yet have little or no impact at all in this world of darkness? I have often mumbled under my breathe upon hearing of another saint falling morally, “Are we making any difference whatsoever?”
I am afraid the problem today is the church is caught up in programs and has failed to understand God wants relationship. Programs leave us powerless where relationship with God through His son Jesus leads us to being power-filled. I read a tremendous quote: “The most succinct explanation of why most Christians live lives of duplicity and inconsistency is primarily found in their spiritual diet.” Listen, the only way for you to be victorious in the Christian Life is to be constantly in His Word and feeding on His promises. As Christians we need to claim God’s promises and appropriate them in our lives. In the scripture we read of 85-year-old Caleb who was willing to pay the price, fight the battles and win the victory that God had waiting for him. However, in his life he learned the secret to spiritual success. It is so simple to say but at times difficult to practice in real life! The truth for Caleb is the same for each of us. The secret is simply that God had all of Caleb. The Legacy phrase in the scripture concerning Caleb is this one, “I followed the Lord God of Israel fully”? When you study Caleb throughout the Old Testament, you will discover that phrase is used six times. It means, “to close the gap.” It is a phrase used by hunters to refer to their closing the gap between themselves and their prey. Caleb was committed to keeping the distance between him and the Lord at a minimum. His secret was “Every inch, every ounce, every nerve, every fiber of Caleb belonged to God.” Now the question becomes: Can you say that about your life? Does God have all of you? Total commitment is not just for Preachers! God deserves your all. If you’re saved, you belong to Him! (I Cor. 6:19-20) For Caleb there was no retreat or turning back. He was totally committed to God! History tells us when Julius Caesar landed on the shores of Britain with his Roman legions; he took a bold and decisive step to ensure the success of his military venture. Ordering his men to halt on the edge of the Cliffs of Dover, he commanded them to look down at the water below. To their amazement, they saw every ship in which they crossed the Channel engulfed in flames. Caesar had deliberately cut off any possibility of retreat. The only thing they could do was advance and conquer, and that is exactly what they did. Too many Christians have left themselves some sort of an escape hatch back into their old life of sin. We need to burn every bridge that leads back to the old life and set our minds on the task of conquering our Canaan and the promises of God. We need to have the CALEB COMMITMENT! The question I would ask today is: Are you living wholly, fully for God? Until you’re fully devoted to God, you close that gap with God, you will never conquer the giants you will encounter. Frank
MOSCOW
March 16, 2010 |
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